Kindess and compassion

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of compassion is ” a sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it”. The definition of kindness is “the quality or state of being kind”.

From a young age, we are taught to show compassion and kindness to others. As children, we are taught to be mindful of other people’s feelings and to show respect and kindness. As bullying in schools and online becomes a more talked about item, never have the lessons about compassion and kindness been more important. Even as adults, we get messages to show compassion and kindness to others – bringing food to a friend who just lost a loved one, giving money to those who are in need or just paying someone a compliment when they seem like they need it.

All this is so important because by making someone else feel better, you will in turn, make yourself feel better. However, there is another message of compassion and kindness that I think is important. One that is finally getting attention!

How often do we show compassion and kindness to……ourselves?

I find it interesting (and disheartening) that often we would treat someone else better than we would ever treat ourselves. Dr. Kristen Neff (http://self-compassion.org/) describes self compassion as “being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism”.

I can easily identify many times that I was incredibly hard on myself or even cruel with my thoughts towards myself in a situation that I would have shown compassion and kindness to another. I hear others, people I love, showing themselves no compassion and tearing themselves down. These same people would go out of their way to show compassion and kindness to another.

It is SO incredibly important to show compassion and kindness to others. BUT I think it is equally important to show the same compassion and kindness to yourself. You deserve it! We all need to treat ourselves as we would treat others. We all need to treat ourselves the way we expect and hope others will treat us.

How do you be more compassionate and kind to yourself?

Start by thinking about how you treat others. Be mindful about how you talk to yourself. When you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk – stop and try to re-frame what you are saying from a place of compassion and kindness.

We are all worth compassion and kindness – from others and from ourselves.